Juliette - A french brasserie - 9/27/07

Rating:




Name: Juliette
Location: 135 N. 5th St and Bedford Ave in uber hip Williamsburg.
Price: $50.51 for two

At first glance this place is unreal. Rooftop dining and bar, ridiculously cute hipster staff, dialed in loungy music, perfect ambience and decor and a nice simple menu. Too good to be true? Naturally.

The only employee who seemed to know what they were doing was the busser. The server was totally braindead (although cute).

We ordered a dry gin martini and a lemondrop. Myste's martini showed up in the guise of a dirty vodka martini. My lemondrop was made with sour mix off the gun and tasted like crystal light meets Kool-Aid. Not too cool. When we sent back the martini, the bartender came out to discuss why on earth we would send back his creation. I guess to shame us into drinking it anyway. Fortunately we have no shame. Gin was produced.

I asked the hostess (as the server was most likely shooting up in back) for some soda water. This request produced much chaos, but eventually a bottle of sparkling water was delivered to our table. It worked well enough to dilute my Crystal Light Kool-Aid beverage.

Then onto dinner.

We ordered the Moules et Frittes and a Beet Salad. The server never brought us utensils, or share plates, or anything to eat with really. When our food arrived, the busser hastily procured said items so we could avoid using our fingers. He stayed nearby cleaning table debris and checking on our smacked out servers other tables. In fact, our busser was the only person moving fast enough to have us believe he did not shoot up with the rest of the staff pre-shift.

The food, however, was delicious. The Beet Salad was wonderful, but we would have loved to see some greens (you know, like a salad). The mussels were fresh and the french fries were supposedly perfect. I wouldn't know, Myste ate the whole lot. We spooned as much butter onto the bread and into our mouths as was possible, and probably would have licked the bowl if we weren't dressed all fancy. That's the kind of bitches we are...

When the check was presented by the mostly absent server, we were greatly amused to discover a tip guide neatly printed on the bottom of the check, advising how much to tip for the outrageously perfect service.

Bottom line? If you go, wait on your own table, and order wine. And tip your busser appropriately.