Rating:




Name: West Bank Cafe
Location: 407 W. 42nd and 9th Ave
Price: $75 for 2
Server: Michael
Cuisine: California
Chef: Not on website - is this a fuggin trend?

Periodically we like to punish ourselves by having lunch in Midtown. In keeping with our loathing for business lunches, we found a business lunch spot and descended our swarm of saltiness upon it.

First things first, the interior blows. Light up templates of gaucho style hats on the walls, overly lit, no atmosphere whatsoever, music? The only thing we liked about the space was the refurbished old floors.

They didn't ask for the reservation name, but when we called insisted we needed a reservation. Hmmmm... We were seated with menu's but no wine list. Clearly we don't look old enough to drink. When the wine list was finally procured we were completely and utterly horrified by the graphic design of it. There was good info and descriptions printed, and overall it was a semi-decent list. However, it was hard to read and very ugly to look at.

At this point we'd been sitting for about 10 minutes. No water. No offer of water, but bussers and servers wandering around blindly everywhere. There was one big party and only us in the whole place. Totaly empty.

Finally our Wait-er showed up and introduced himself in a slimey fake voice that made Myste want to scratch his eyes out. Still no offer or question on water. But he took our wine order. Our friend Stephanie arrived, and we all waited another 10 minutes while watching our server wolf down some food, before he came over and took her wine order. When he brought the glass of wine we asked if we were allowed to have any water. He virtually screamed to the busser 2 feet away "CAN YOU GET THESE LADIES SOME WATER PLEASE!!" We think he's gross. And lazy.

Michael of the slimey wait-er voice took our order and went away. Myste and I, lushes that we aspire to be, drank two glasses each of the Sancerre. It was fantastic. But to get a refill we had to practically balance the glasses on the edge of the table. Same with water.

The food, when it arrived, was quite good, and nicely presented. Myste had a nicoise salad. The eggs were whole and separated on the side (good for me, with a tiresome egg allergy). The tuna was sashimi grade and perfectly prepared, the greens fresh and the green beans were also very fresh. My scallop dish was perfect as well, and they accomodated my substitution without issue. If the food weren't so good, this place would have gotten 1 shaker, due to the exceedingly poor service, terrible menu design and awful interiors.

The desert menu was nicely selected and we appreciate an option for fresh berries and whipped cream. So even dieters might get to munch something sweet.

The other saving grace was that we were not charged for our second round of wine. Possibly because they sensed the poor service, but also possibly because he forgot.

We understand that at the end of a shift, people get lazy - however - we like to bring the salt to you, dear reader, with unsparing regularity.

Bottom line: Bring your own water, bring food for the waiter so he doesn't have to hide in back, and take a qualude prior to arrival to ensure greater patience. Ear plugs will be a good thing, if you need water from the busser, to make sure you don't get your eardrums blown by the yelling service staff.

Although the food was totally dialed in, we won't be back.